Cutting edge trendsetters are shunning white fillings in an amalgam revival.
Hipster Council representative for Runcorn Milton “Chequers” Kearns said “For too long have we been slaves to society’s decadent bourgeoise demand for whiter teeth, even at the expense of worker exploitation in the petrochemical conglomerates.”
“We’ve taken taken the filthy grunge look as far as we can with our beards, tattoos, and our diets consisting entirely of dirty burgers and craft beer. Now it’s the turn of our teeth.”
Artisan dental surgeries are springing up across the country offering to replace composite fillings with amalgam, with names like Metyl-Metyl and MerQ.
Mr Kearns added, “Did you know metal fillings are 100% fair trade made using only natural ingredients found in nature? #rustmouth.”
However, the movement has already been declared out of date following a new drive to have random teeth extracted and an ill-fitting partial denture made instead.